Eating Out Challenge - 30 Days

MandaPanda has issued a challenge to herself, no eating out for 30 days - and I'm joining her. (I hope a piece of birthday cake from yesterday doesn't count, because I didn't buy that, and I planned for it in my calories.)

We've been struggling a bit with paying all of our bills. Steve and I are trying to throw as much money as possible at credit cards to get them paid off as quickly as possible. (Come ooooon tax return!) And then we've really been bad lately about going out to eat too much. 2-3x/week is excessive. No wonder we're getting a little doughy!

So... today is Day 2. Making it happen.

Anyone care to commit? It's gonna be fun!

The Struggle

I see you out there. You're struggling. You've had your band a while, but it's stopped "working."

Has it? Or have you?

I found a list of "rules" for the weight loss surgery (specifically, the band)... there are ten.

Here they are:

1. Eat only when you are hungry, and no more than three times per day.
• Your stomach is only supposed to 1/2-3/4 cups of food. You now also have a stoma which is the area above your band that "feeds" the food through to your lower stomach. You should only have 1 bite of food in there at a time, allowing each one to pass through before you continue to the next bite.
2. Eat slowly and chew thoroughly.
• Take your time - eating is not a race! All "stuck" episodes are user error. There, I said it. If your band is too tight and that's the "reason" you're PBing constantly, that's your fault, too. You can ALWAYS go in for an adjustment somewhere. I don't care how much it costs, because you invested in this surgery; you allowed yourself to be put under anesthesia and sliced open for this, and YOU have to keep your body healthy. There is always a way. Yes, I PB once a month or so... and it's always MY fault for eating something and not chewing thoroughly.
3. Stop eating as soon as you feel full.
• I say stop BEFORE you feel full. You don't NEED to be feelin' full, because that leads to uncomfortable bloating with me, and I assume I'm not alone. By the time my mind catches up and I'm "full," it's already too late. Eat until you're no longer need to eat to function, for me that's 4-6 oz of firm protein like fish, chicken, or beef, and usually some vegetables.
4. Do not drink while you are eating.
• You know what? I'm guilty of this too when there's alcohol involved, but other than that? I do not. Do you know why? It allows me to eat more! It flushes food right past my stoma, through my band, and into my lower stomach. This doesn't give me satiety signals the way I'm used to feeling them after almost 4 years, and leads to overeating and discomfort!
5. Do not eat between meals.
• I cannot speak to this rule. I snack. Usually less than 200 calories per, but it happens.
6. Eat only good quality, nutritious food.
• Sliders? Ain't nobody got time for that. Sure, I'll indulge every once in a while and have 4 ginger snaps (which are only THREE Weight Watchers points for the brand I buy), but other than that? Firm protein, an occasional protein bar, more protein... I don't eat crap. I don't eat things out of a box, and I don't eat frozen dinners. Fuck that. I want things that will fuel my metabolism and my body, not slow it down.
7. Avoid fibrous food.
• I keep my fill level at a point where I can eat some fibrous foods... that doesn't mean that occasionally a piece of broccoli doesn't get stuck (again, because I don't chew each bite 1,678,945 times)! However, things like potatoes mostly do NOT work with my band (Fries? FORGET IT!), even after being chewed 30 times, this stuff is still too thick and it doesn't want to move through. I rarely eat it. Pick your battles, know your band and your body!
8. Drink enough fluids during the day.
• Drink water! I drink anywhere between 8-12 cups per day, and that's pre-workout. I can drink 5-6 cups while exercising. I can't get enough! Don't slip back into drinking sodas or having Starbucks every damn day. Fuel your body with things it's made up of: WATER!
9. Drink only low-calorie liquids.
• This comes back to #8. Drink water!
10. Exercise at least 30 minutes per day.
• That's 210 minutes per week. There are 10,000+ minutes every 7 days, 210 is only 2% of your allotment of minutes! Make YOURSELF a priority. Take the kids to the gym play room, leave them with a friend, take the dog for a walk... walk in place in your living room, if you have to. Just do SOMETHING.

Are you doing 10/10 of these? Because I'm doing 9/10, and I'm rocking it. I was 273 lbs almost 4 years ago, and today I weighed in at 158.1. I'm going to be 145 lbs, and I'm going to be successful in maintaining it. Believe that. Because I give myself my own accountability, I don't rely on outside forces to keep myself motivated.

I was talking to Lori today, and she told me she had been scared she was giving up. But she's back on the horse. (LITERALLY!)

I told her she wasn't allowed to be a statistic. I've heard too many damn advertisements on TV and the radio lately, "Did you get the lapband, but not have the results you were promised? Come see Dr. [Whoever], an experienced bariatric doctor who performs revision surgery!"

I'm not going to be a statistic, because I work every damn day. And she won't be either!

What are you going to do to make sure you're successful? That you stick with it? That you win this fight with obesity?

Still Running

I'm still chugging along with the Couch-to-5K. Just completed Week 3, Day 1.

Also, did an additional 34 minutes in the gym at my apartment complex. Stationary bike, elliptical... pure cardio. I was DRIPPING sweat at the end of that 60 minutes.

That's something new I'm doing: working out at the gym. I was running outside, and it was nice. However, I wasn't getting the burn I wanted or needed, because I didn't know my real pace. I was using RunKeeper so I knew I was hitting about 15:00 minute/mile pace, but I wanted a STEADY pace that I could control more easily. And 15:00 minute mile? Not impressive. I want more for myself.

Hence the dreadmill. We've made peace, though, I think. I've done my C25K on it twice now, and it was nice to me today. I can't wait for Week 4, Day 1. I hear that's when most people fall off the wagon. It isn't going to happen to me!

I'm making fitness a lifestyle now, it's finally clicking after I'm 3.5 years into my weight loss journey.

Oh, and I saw a nice weight this morning: 163.8. That's 16.2 pounds down since I started Weight Watchers in February. Pretty nice for me, considering I really JUST started taking it seriously about 2 months ago.

Be well, my friends!

Body Shots

My new goal weight of 145 pounds. I stated it here earlier, and I told my accountability group about it last week... and it was met with some hesitation.

I was told 145 might be too thin. And was asked WHY I want to be that particular weight?

And I wonder what people think I really look like underneath my clothes? (Or why anyone cares what my ultimate goal weight is anyway?)

Does someone mistakenly think I'm some thin goddess under there, even though they can see bulges with my clothes on?

So I'm here to share what I really look like, because I told Lorie I would. I'm sure I haven't done this recently (at least, not since I started THIS blog)... so here goes nothing.

It's not horrible, but there's work to be done.

And I'm ready to do it!

Wanna Be A Runner

I've been talking about fitness for a few weeks, or months, or years (if you count how long I've been saying I want to be active). But one thing I haven't been talking about is the fact that I've always wanted to be a runner. I don't think I ever mentioned it. In fact, I probably have always said, "I hate running. I'll never be a runner."

Defeatist Attitude? Ain't nobody got time for that. I'm all about the Positive Mental Attitude these days.

Long story short: yesterday I started Couch-to-5K!

I did Week 1, Day 1 at noon. In Texas. It was only 90 degrees. I barely broke a sweat. (Lie.)

I'm breaking down barriers, ladies. I'm done with the "I-wanna's" and I'm focusing on the "I'm-gonna's."

I'm gonna be a runner (or at least I'm gonna finish C25K and go from there).
I'm gonna continue with T25 and be an athlete.
I'm gonna get to 145 lbs.

That's my new goal weight, if I forgot to mention it in my last blog post. I'm done with the excuses.

I'm gonna go meal prep for the week now. Just went shopping this morning and I'm feeling like it's a great time.

BandedWendy and Fitness

I've been absent again, only for two weeks or so, I think. But it's been good away. I've been focusing on eating well and exercising.

Most specifically: when I'm not working out (or simply: working!), I'm watching YouTube videos. I love BandedWendy - I've become obsessed! I started her journey over with her from the very beginning, and she JUST reached maintenance. That's probably 100 videos I've watched.

From now on when I go to bed at night and grab my laptop (horrible habit, but I don't care!), Steve says, "Good night, babe. Have fun watching BandedWendy."

She's just REAL. She knows what she's about, she knows what the lapband is about. She knows the rules, and she's not scared to say, "Hey, if you're not following the rules - that's why you're not losing weight." And I SO believe that.

You have to seriously be ready to change your life.

Today and yesterday, in fact, I bitched out on my fitness. Yesterday was supposed to be a two-a-day, but I completely laid down and enjoyed my bed last night. Then tonight I started one of my T25 videos (Total Body Circuit, to be exact; if you're familiar with the program I'm doing the Gamma Hybrid cycle, which incorporates videos from the Alpha and/or Beta cycles once or twice a week), and I got about 2/3 of the way through it then sat down and turned it off. I made that choice. I'm owning it.

I hadn't had enough to eat today, and I don't feel strong. So I will do it tomorrow. I worked 45 hours this week, which is only an extra hour per day... but when you have been closing as often as I have (three days in a row and then a turn-around today), it gets pretty grueling.

I don't go in tomorrow until 11:00 am, so I have time to do finish the first and start up and finish the second video before I leave for work. And I already have my lunch made.

I'm a planner, what can I say?

Fitness IS a part of my lifestyle.

Several Things Sunday

It's not a thing... just something I have time for!

1. A barium swallow showed everything is fine with my band. My restriction is perfect. I didn't end up getting an unfill, just figured out while talking with the Nurse Practitioner that I need to stop eating so fast and get back to basics! She gave me a handout with information for newly-banded or people considering banding, and I actually read it - it was a nice refresher!
2. She also said I need to start tracking my BMs (sorry for the image), because sometimes I think I go a while without even realizing I haven't (3-4 days sometimes). She said put a hashtag on the calendar every time I do. Hilarious. (I actually did today, and yesterday! I've been incorporating a little bit of coconut oil into my diet almost daily. It really helps!)
3. Speaking of helping, for the past two days I've been drinking a protein shake as my breakfast, and coupled with a piece of fruit around 10:00 am, it's actually keeping me full until lunch time... wow. I didn't think that was possible anymore! I might keep this up.
4. I finally ended up getting into my primary care physician's office and got my prescription for my anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medicine refilled. I hope it helps. I've taken three doses so far. She wants me to come back in 3 weeks to see her and possibly tweak the dose - hopefully, 10 mg is enough, but we'll see.
5. Is it better to take these in the morning or at night? I couldn't sleep at ALL last night, and I think it might be because I took my pill at about 5:00 pm. For today's dose I moved it to 9:00 am and we'll see what happens.
6. Aaaand I just read online that many people take it right before going to bed because it makes them sick to take it during the day. Guess I'm gonna wait until tomorrow EVENING to take another pill.
7. I woke up this morning with a swollen eye-lid. I really hope I don't have pink eye or something disgusting. If it's still swollen tomorrow, I might go to CareNow or someplace. Too random.

I guess I'm out of things to say! Hope everyone has a wonderful rest of their weekend. <3

Unfill?

I'm so torn!

I haven't had an adjustment with my LapBand since October 31st, 2011... and lately (okay, maybe the last 6 months or so) food has been getting "stuck" more often. Not even normal "eating-a-little-too-fast-gotta-slow-down," but full on "have-to-throw-up-5-times" episodes. Normally, I can eat anything, but I get stalled up most often with beef and fibrous vegetables. Girlfriend's gotta have her veggies. Everything going on is COMPLETELY user error, but I want to go have a bit removed from my band regardless. I'm thinking maybe 0.2 cc's, taking me back down to 5.0 cc's.

Steve and I went to the movies with the boys last week, and we grabbed lunch right before... I ordered bourbon chicken and got stuck on the first bite. Now I'm sure I took a little too big of a bite because it was about 2:45 pm and I hadn't eaten since 7:00 am, but I had to leave the movie theater THREE times, and threw up twice before we sat down. It was horrible.

I've never had an unfill, so this is kind of scary for me. I'm imagining myself being completely voracious. I also think I should probably get a barium swallow scheduled just because I want to make sure everything's still in the correct position and flowing well.

I have even scheduled an appointment to go see Dr. Fox, my surgeon, haven't seen him in almost 2 years. (Isn't that horrible?)

Wish me luck, the unfill is happening tomorrow and the visit with Dr. Fox is next Thursday.

Unofficial Wedding Photos

Just got these a few days ago!

My mother and grandparents

Patrick in his tiny tuxedo. <3 

Both boys (obviously)

Us during first look photos <3 

Mama and Daddy 

Me and my parents <3 

Ceremony shot 

My lovely bridesmaids (Brandi, Amy, and Mari)

Another ceremony shot 

Putting my ring on. 

First kiss! 

First dance 

Daddy/Daughter dance... <3 

And my heart broke when my Daddy got all shy and almost
cried because he couldn't remember how to dance, he said

Mother/Son dance... Steve and his mama and me and the boys. 

And that's all we have so far. These were taken by my grandfather, so excuse the quality on some of them. Just wanted to share a few!

I Forgot How To Blog

Anyone else having this problem lately?

So, as you maybe can see, I've come kind of full circle with my blog.

I was going to maybe write about weight loss, then I wasn't, now I kind of want to because I'm going new places with my fitness and I feel amazing... but I don't want to shove all my weight loss stuff in everyone's face. Especially not about my weight loss surgery experience.

Either you read my former blog (which I miss... WHY DID I DELETE IT?! I am a crazy person.) or you didn't. If you didn't, count yourself lucky. I stressed over stupid stuff. I was sad about gaining 0.6 lbs. I didn't exercise - and I was proud of the fact that I lost 100 lbs with minimal exercise! My eating was 80% spot-on, but God forbid I work up a sweat.

I don't have an agenda with this blog post... I swear. I am not trying to sell anyone anything other than diamonds. And I only do that at work. Please don't get the band if it's not right for you. ANYONE. EVER. It's hell if you're not ready. Also, I'm pretty sure it's going extinct. The sleeve is the way to go now. Everyone's revising to it and doing awesome. I'm jealous, in fact - I want a sleeve!

I digress. (And I don't really want a sleeve - but if I ever lost my band, I would totally consider it.)

I'm going to make a comeback. I will learn to blog regularly again, if it kills me. I might be like Beth Ann, and write an entry every day for a couple of weeks just to get myself used to it again. Get those creative juices flowing!

I think most of my problem is a ton of my former friends on here don't blog anymore! Or no one knows about my new blog, because I don't advertise it, or BLOG ever. Maybe I need to roam into the newbie territory, see who I can find.

I'll be back!

So I Got Hitched...

Without much fan-fare. The ceremony was 5 minutes MAX, and then we went and partied our butts off.

I think I got to spend a good amount of time with most people, which made me happy!

It was a beautiful reception. I danced with my husband, my dad, my sons (in turn, and together), and other random people during the dollar dance and just when I was feeling feisty. My sons danced their asses off, too, along with my nieces surprisingly. The youngest (Bonnie) got a little too freaky for two-years-old. Made me wonder about future career paths for her, but overall it was adorable.

The dinner was great, everyone seemed to enjoy the food, it was right on point taste-wise. And the cake was amazing. We got Costco sheet cake, a small decorative cake, and then Steve's grooms cakes. Yes, he got three. Wasted a ton of money, and none of them except one was eaten. Another disappeared mysteriously after the reception.

The bartenders were awesome, and very accommodating for "the bride."

A few situations threatened to ruin my calm, but didn't succeed. The DJ's were totally unprofessional at first, but once we got them pointed in the right direction it was fine. The photographer was outright rude to our families.

But... it was beautiful, and went by too fast.

I can't wait until I have pictures to share!

Sudden Realization

So I'm getting married in 28 days.

I just ordered bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts (Steve picked his guys' stuff, I just ordered it), am trying to figure out what to do for hair and make-up, trying to piece together some kind of wedding day timeline, and figuring out the music... basically, I'm over all of this nonsense. And even though Steve CLAIMS he's interested in helping, he never really does. He just kind of says, "Yeah, that sounds good," to everything. I'm growing annoyed.

If I've said it once, I've said it ten times: I just want to head to the Justice of the Peace! Or get a wedding planner. Which, really, isn't a bad idea.

I'm maxed out on spreadsheets.

My notes app is ridiculously cluttered.

Any time I have two thoughts to rub together I have to type them both out immediately, because I can't retain anything lately that isn't work-related. If I make another one, I think my phone might commit suicide.

Lots of stress in my life lately, and I'm just not sure what the answer is for any of it!

Wedding Dress Stress

I went for my dress fitting yesterday. So bad.

The wedding gown I bought 14 months ago was a size too small. Obviously, I've gained weight. Only about 9 pounds, so it's not a "ton" of weight per say. But enough that my dress was so tight the lady couldn't even zip it up completely and I felt so horrible standing there and having her put pins everywhere it needed to be let out. And they were everywhere.

I was lucky enough that I was able to exchange it at no cost for the next size up and save myself a TON of money in alterations; I also had to exchange my petticoat and my bustier for larger sizes as well.  It was embarrassing, but it had to be done. I'm very realistic about my body.

So what am I doing about this? I've started exercising. I've actually been working out for the last few days, my diet has improved... it's not just about the dress. It's not just for the wedding. I've been lazy and complacent lately. And ain't nobody got tiiiiiime to get back to where I was three and a half years ago!

So at the next fitting (May 9th)... I might have to have it taken in.

A girl can dream!

Oh, and here's a sneak peak of the dress (this is the smaller one, obviously):

The One In Which I Bitch

Busy, busy, busy. That's what I've been lately. Working a ton of overtime because we're so short-handed, going crazy planning the wedding, and stressing over every-little-thing financially.

First, let me bitch about wedding things:

The bridal shower Steve's and my mom are planning for me is next Saturday, and there are only like 5 "yes" RSVP's... and I'm one of them. And the moms are the other two. I'm hoping at least one of my bridesmaids will be able to make it. One of them lives in Ohio (maybe flying in for a three hour party is a bit of a stretch? LOL), one has previous plans to attend a baby shower that day (this has only been set up for a week or so), and the last one (Steve's cousin's wife) hasn't answered to whether or not she'll be there. I'm assuming so, but I've assumed before.

Then it seems like everything's falling apart for the bachelorette party. I wanted to have it in San Antonio, when Steve and I were still assuming MOST of our friends and family would be there, but... it's turning out not so much. So maybe we'll have one here in Dallas, which will probably be better because the people who aren't able to make it down there for the ceremony will be able to attend... if they make time.

The main thing this whole wedding process is teaching me?

I don't have that many friends.

Now onto the fun financial stuff:

I just had to have all four of my wisdom teeth pulled last Thursday. I don't have insurance at the moment, so it cost us $1,788. That's alot of money to us. It wiped us out entirely. We had $1,000 in savings (because we're young and laughably broke), and another $1,000 that his parents had just given us for wedding expenses. We threw all of that out the window for a doctor to pull my back teeth out. Just not sure if it was entirely worth it.

Add to that, our lease is up June 15th, and we have the option to renew or leave. Our rent payment is going to be bumped up $45 if we stay. We looked around all day on Thursday, and ended up falling in love with the three bedroom at our apartment complex. We could afford it (BARELY), but found out we have to make a minimum of $4,550 monthly (including any bonuses, overtime, etc.) to qualify.

We don't.

My dreams (ours, maybe?) were crushed. I've been moping around for two days, and we fought all last night until he called me out saying that that's what I was really upset about. And he's right - I want us to make more money! It's not out of the scope of possibilities that we'd both get decent jobs. I just got a new one making a little more than I was at the old one per hour, and significantly more in commission. My bonus check for this month is going to be approximately $440 (before taxes), that's more than I made at CHRISTMASTIME at Jared, and I sold three times as much there in that month. I can't wait until I establish a solid client base here and really get money rolling in.

Now... diet stuff (because it's another point of stress I keep forgetting about):

I am finally back to losing weight. When I found out I'd need to have my wisdom teeth taken out (because one was impacted - GROSS), I was put on steriods and antibiotics. I've never really noticed weight gain with that sort of thing before, but it happened RIGHT around the time PMS hit, and I gained almost 10 lbs in a matter of days. I'm finally back down to "new low" territory, as far as Weight Watchers goes, but it's hard going. Only because of laziness! I used to be great at pre-planning meals, but lately I've just fallen off doing it. I'm not sure why. I'm going to remedy that tomorrow (or tonight), and cook some things for the upcoming week. I've been pinning healthy lunch box ideas on Pinterest, and I'm actually going to use them! Also, I need some lunch containers. Another story for another day.

I know I'm grouching about life hardcore as if it's not going well right now, but it IS. I'm sorry to be such a downer, I just feel so defeated at the moment about the apartment... I'm so happy we're going to still be in the boys' same school, but then I worry Patrick is going to have a bad reputation next year, because his teacher this year is just totally unfair to him and it makes him act out. And I know it's easy for a parent to say that, but she truly is. She makes all of these promises and doesn't follow-through, and she picks on him. I've seen it firsthand. I hate it.

I just can't wait until we start our married life together and all of this stress is behind us.

Also, I'm meeting up with my FMIL and bridesmaid today at Garden Ridge to get some decoration ideas for the bridal shower and wedding reception. Wish us luck!

Just Realized...

I said I would do a blog about how my first day went... which was over two weeks ago. Oops. Not that I have any allusions that anyone's been waiting to hear about it, but all the same I want to gush!

I absolutely love it!

This honestly feels like where I need to be. The environment is so different from my last position, and truthfully, even better than the one I had before that, which I ABSOLUTELY loved.

I could gush, but I won't.

I have been a busy bee. Wedding planning is in full swing, we also just bought new furniture, and I just found out TODAY that I have to have all four of my wisdom teeth extracted - next Thursday is the day!

That'll set us back a pretty penny to do, but it needs to be done. I've been in agony for three full days now, and I'm tired of it. One of my fillings fell out a few months ago, but I haven't had "a chance" (LIES, ALL LIES) to go get it taken care of.

Anyway, I've been reading and keeping up with you guys, I'm waiting for a certain blogger to reveal some big news that I got a few days ago that I'm stoked about, and I'm counting down the days until I get hitched!

Other than that - life is pretty even keel.

Big News

Morale is back where it needs to be. I got a new job. I'm really excited about it. I'll be making more per hour, more commission, it'll be good. I'll talk more about it later.

Weight Watchers has been rough for me (don't ask me why, but a website telling me I can only have 30 points per day is like saying, "Please binge eat." There have been 45-50 point days. Oops.). But I'm getting into the groove now nicely. It's been 3.5 weeks and I think I've lost maybe 5 lbs. Which isn't stellar... but whatever. It's better than gaining.

Also, my grandmother just had surgery to remove the top lobe of her lung on Monday, and she's going back to a rehabilitation facility for the next few weeks (or possibly months?). She really loves it at this place, she's been there before... and I'm so scared she'll go into a depression again when she has to leave like she did the last time. She's 88 years old, and this was major surgery. She had a spot of cancer on her lung and that scares the crap out of all of us.

I'm taking the boys up to see her this afternoon (she got settled in around noon today, so it should be fine granted she's not all tuckered out). They haven't seen her in a month or two, my poor boys. They love their Mema.

Anyway, I'll be back in a few days to talk about how my first day went at the new job, talk about what happened at my old job when I told them, etc.

Valentine's Day and What I've Been Eating

Ah, Valentine's Day. The day of commercial love. What were WE up to? Not much.

Went shopping for Valentine's Day stuff for the boys (we got them each a little box of their favorite candies), had lunch at Jimmy John's (only 8 points for the Turkey Tom - awesome!), then called back a man for a job interview (NOT Zales, darnitall - but we'll talk about the other company if the interview goes well), went to the boys' school for their Valentine's Day parties, and came home.

Adrian got a good haul at his party! 

Patrick was just lucky to participate.
He got in alot of trouble today. 

Adrian's story about Punxsutawney Phil.

Adrian showing me his art work! <3

More art!

Close-up.

Patrick's about me worksheet. :) 

Patrick's artwork! 

Patrick's craft project. <3 

Ha, the kids were playing heads up seven up. 

Then we went over to Steve's parents' house and visited with his family.

His grandma is in town, and he lives in Indiana, so she only comes down once or twice a year. She seems like a nice lady, it's good that the boys got to visit with her.

Now let's get to the good stuff: what I've been eating.

Chicken thighs and sweet potato fries. <3 

Cheddar broccoli soup! 

Butternut squash and chicken legs. 

Honey Bunches of Oats and an English muffin. 

A box dinner. Thumbs down. 

Speaks for itself. So flippin' good.

Jimmy John's - turkey tom and potato chips!

Grapes. Yummeh. 

Chicken quesadilla plus more chicken!

On the whole - it seems like my diet is more balanced lately.

I've really been enjoying Weight Watchers!

I came in on my first week at a 1.2 pound weight loss.

We'll see what next Wednesday brings!