Monday, January 6, 2014

Food-Ordering Phobia

Have I mentioned that I am horrible on the phone?

Or just talking to people in general? (Except when I'm at work, obviously.)

It's probably my crippling anxiety, a result of my former fat girl status.

Any time we go out to eat I make Stephen order for me, because I suck at it. I will either completely confuse someone in the blink of an eye.

For instance, at Jimmy John's the other day:

Me: "Hi there, I'll have... a #12!"
Cashier: "Okay, great. Would you like a drink?"
Me: "Nope, thanks!"
Cashier: "That'll be... [insert random cost]."
Me: "Oh, sorry, I meant to say I wanted that to be an unwich."
Cashier: "No problem!"
Me: "And if I could get no tomatoes, and add bacon?"
Cashier: "...sure." [frustrated sigh]

Why couldn't I just say, "I'd like a #12 unwich, with no tomatoes and add bacon"? I knew that's what I wanted.

Or I do the following:

Say you're me and you're at lunch. You only have a few minutes, thirty, to be exact, to scarf down whatever unhealthy crap you were planning to eat at McDonald's (or Sonic, or wherever is convenient, because about once a week you're too frazzled in the morning to make yourself a lunch). You go up to the counter to get some food, and the person taking your order is good-looking, or thin, or whatever would make you the most self-conscious... so you modify your order. Instead of getting that double cheeseburger with no bun and a side of ranch dressing like you wanted, you end up with a freakin' side salad and water, and you're hungry the rest of the day.

Does anyone else have this weird ordering mindset? (Mostly talking about the second one, no one else has to admit to being as socially awkward as I am in the first example.)


  1. As soon as I figure out how to get this blog to show up in my feeds...I'll be happy. Glad you are blogging again.

  2. Oh boy - I so have #2.....haha!

  3. I don't have #2 because eff them, that's why. I've done #1 though...often. :)

  4. I always order my Jimmy Johns online and have it delivered to my office. :) I love their unwiches!

  5. That comment from Maxine was actually me. Apparently my daughter was on my computer.

  6. I have #2! I was buying cookies for my class this morning and kept thinking in my head " Please don't let anyone see me!" And to make it worse, there was a very thin lady in front of me with grapefruit and water still in her exercise clothes.. I could have died.