Exercise?

I have so many questions about exercise, only because I've only REALLY been doing it for the past year or so... sporadically, until now. And I've never really been fit, so it's all very confusing. Maybe a few of the seasoned veterans out there can help me!

• Am I "supposed to" eat back the calories I burn?
• Because I'm trying not to, but it's hard.

• What's a good target heart rate for someone 27-years-old and about 15 lbs overweight?
• I have no idea.

• When is the best time to exercise (calorically)?
• Because I do it at night, and then I'm pretty ravenous all evening, but it's bearable... and I think if I do it in the morning I'll be ravenous ALL DAY instead of just a few hours. But then I heard you burn more calories all day doing it first thing.

• How intensely can I exercise while pregnant?
• Hell, I just need answers to lots of pregnancy-related things.

• Is fasted cardio really a thing people do?
• Because, if so, I kind of think they need their heads checked. I could never do my standard hour of cardio on an empty stomach. (Currently I do about 30-60 minutes of cardio and 15-20 minutes of lifting per workout. It's going okay for me.) But I might if it helps me lose these thighs.

• How come I don't sweat as much as the other girls?
• I sweat. But I'm not drenched. Like my hair doesn't look like I got caught in torrential downpour, and my back and butt are usually wet, but I want to look like I worked harder! My Polar HRM says I burn on average 600 calories every time I workout.

As you can tell... I do too much thinking while I should be focusing on my burn.

Anyone have any thoughts, answers, or even your own questions we can ponder together?

10 Year Reunion

So, apparently, that's coming up.

Is this motivational or what? I haven't seen 9/10 of these people (nor wanted to) in 10 years, but on the other hand: I've lost about 50 lbs since high school.

I weighed in between 210-220 lbs from about sophomore year of high school until I got pregnant in 2007, and then from 2008-2010 I ballooned up to 260-270 lbs. I was in beast mode. That and suffering some personal tragedies, which I won't put you through listening to right now, all combined to make a perfect storm for my weight gain.

I weighed in this morning at a "slim" 178... and I feel great. But for how long? I get the itch to lose weight, even if I'm where I thought I wanted to be. I did when I was 170, 160, even 150.

I realize I'm a disordered eater. I binge, I'm a habitual overeater, I eat when I'm bored, I'm a habitual dieter, and more that I can't even put my finger on at the moment. I do it all except NOT eat.

Where was I going with this?

Oh yeah. So the idea of going to this makes me nervous. Very nervous. But it kind of gives me a goal: I'd like to not only be pregnant by then, but also be looking great. I want to get my arms in better shape along with my legs.

Someone told me today the only time you can lose cellulite off of your legs is when you're a teenager and when you're pregnant.

I'M ALL OVER IT!

So I guess I'll go.

Gym Update

I ended up joining Fitness Connection. It's a pretty large gym in the area, it's only $9.95/month/person and both Stephen and I joined. They have great amenities (everything but a pool), and childcare is included!

We worked out together Wednesday night, and then I went back last night and worked out by myself. (In both instances, the boys came with and went to the kids' club. They have video games and a movie theater in there to keep them occupied.) I wanted to go again this morning, since I work late tonight, and won't be able to go after work... but I slept late. Whoops!

In other news, I added a new weight loss ticker to the blog... gives me a little more accountability. When I remember to blog, and if/when I remember to update it even when I do. But hey!

Joining A Gym & Credit Card Woes

Ugh, one of those things I have always really dreaded doing. I have only joined twice in my life (once with my mom, but really she just signed me up online when I was a teenager and I went with her a couple of times)... and then back in about 2011, when I joined LifeTime Fitness with a friend. We actually went pretty much 4 times per week for a month or so. It was awesome. SO WISH I could afford a membership there year-round. But it's about $80/month, and Mama doesn't have that type of dough laying around for herself. I mean, we could afford it... but it feels... wrong?

Anywho, so I've been scoping out gyms in the area online, and I've signed up for a few passes to get into some and check them out. Only problem is I haven't actually gone and done it - I need to! I think I will tonight after I take the boys to their dentist appoint (please, LAWD, no cavities!) and go grocery shopping.

I have a problem with the guilt associated with spending money on myself on a monthly basis to do this, especially if I don't actually go. It won't make or break us, but... I wanted to pay off most of the credit card debt first. (And I am failing at that.) I need to buy a Dave Ramsey financial planning book or something, because in THEORY I know what we need to do... it's just getting up the funds to actually put more than the minimum payment toward certain cards.

For instance, the Toys 'R Us card we have for birthday and holiday expenses? It only has about $420 charged up... we could probably pay that in full this month (Christmas bonus). But why not just... pay it off slowly so I can throw all of the cash toward the Capital One card that has 10x that charged up? But then it comes to paying that and all I can usually do is put $100 toward it, because it's due the 2nd of the month (just like the rent).

FUCK. It's so hard to be responsible. I think the best option might be to change the payment dates, because I have SO MUCH come up at the beginning of the month, and that's typically when my bills are due... that it just seems impossible to get ahead. I did just change my Capital One payment to the 14th, so that will help.

I'm going to lay it bare. And anyone who has no interest in hearing about my financial woes, I bid you adieu for today.

Here's the breakdown (and I'm going to check in monthly with this):

Capital One: $3,780.65
Chase Freedom: $1,445.00
Amazon: $851.60
Toys 'R Us: $411.86
Ashley Furniture: $100.00 (card going away next month!)

That's over $6,500 in debt. That's TOO MUCH.

My lame excuses are:

1.) We just got married and I used the Capital One card for honeymoon/last minute expenses.
2.) I bought I few Christmas gifts on credit.
3.) Steve uses them to pay for schooling since typically we can't front the money for multiple classes.

...but seriously?

It feels like a black hole I can't see a way out of. When we get our tax return (and it should be decent, considering for the first time EVER I'm going to claim both of my children as dependents) I'm going to pay off the smaller ones in full, and go from there. Maybe once I pay off the Capital One, I can negotiate a lower APR, because currently I'm at 22.9%. I got it as a rebuild your credit card, and it did help... but not as much as it's hurting now! I have a $6,500 credit line and I've got over 50% tied up at the moment. Shoot.

As you can see, I have a million good financial reasons why I don't want to join the gym, but I'm going to anyway. Don't worry, that'll be coming out of my bank account monthly. Found an okay gym that's only $9.95/month.

Anyway, that's enough for today. Hope that wasn't too much of a drag blog post! Felt good to get it out, though.

New Year, Same Me

I always say I'm not going to make any resolutions, and this year is not going to be any different.

Mostly because I don't really think losing weight is going to fundamentally change my life anymore... I already lost the majority of the weight I wanted to lose, and even though I'm about 25 lbs heavier than I'd LIKE to be, who really cares? Who is it hurting that I'm a size 10 instead of a 6 or an 8? No one. I just have to be sure I keep it under control and don't balloon back up to 273 lbs.

I just celebrated my four year bandiversary, and I couldn't be happier to still have my band. I was deep into the Christmas season working retail during that time, so I didn't get to make a post. But, really, there's nothing much to say about it.

Interestingly, I do have one "goal" for the current year: Stephen and I want to have a baby. Which is another reason I'm not entirely worried about my waistline right now! No news yet, but we've only been trying for two cycles (in the third right now).

Can't wait to hopefully share some good news in the upcoming months!