The Struggle

I see you out there. You're struggling. You've had your band a while, but it's stopped "working."

Has it? Or have you?

I found a list of "rules" for the weight loss surgery (specifically, the band)... there are ten.

Here they are:

1. Eat only when you are hungry, and no more than three times per day.
• Your stomach is only supposed to 1/2-3/4 cups of food. You now also have a stoma which is the area above your band that "feeds" the food through to your lower stomach. You should only have 1 bite of food in there at a time, allowing each one to pass through before you continue to the next bite.
2. Eat slowly and chew thoroughly.
• Take your time - eating is not a race! All "stuck" episodes are user error. There, I said it. If your band is too tight and that's the "reason" you're PBing constantly, that's your fault, too. You can ALWAYS go in for an adjustment somewhere. I don't care how much it costs, because you invested in this surgery; you allowed yourself to be put under anesthesia and sliced open for this, and YOU have to keep your body healthy. There is always a way. Yes, I PB once a month or so... and it's always MY fault for eating something and not chewing thoroughly.
3. Stop eating as soon as you feel full.
• I say stop BEFORE you feel full. You don't NEED to be feelin' full, because that leads to uncomfortable bloating with me, and I assume I'm not alone. By the time my mind catches up and I'm "full," it's already too late. Eat until you're no longer need to eat to function, for me that's 4-6 oz of firm protein like fish, chicken, or beef, and usually some vegetables.
4. Do not drink while you are eating.
• You know what? I'm guilty of this too when there's alcohol involved, but other than that? I do not. Do you know why? It allows me to eat more! It flushes food right past my stoma, through my band, and into my lower stomach. This doesn't give me satiety signals the way I'm used to feeling them after almost 4 years, and leads to overeating and discomfort!
5. Do not eat between meals.
• I cannot speak to this rule. I snack. Usually less than 200 calories per, but it happens.
6. Eat only good quality, nutritious food.
• Sliders? Ain't nobody got time for that. Sure, I'll indulge every once in a while and have 4 ginger snaps (which are only THREE Weight Watchers points for the brand I buy), but other than that? Firm protein, an occasional protein bar, more protein... I don't eat crap. I don't eat things out of a box, and I don't eat frozen dinners. Fuck that. I want things that will fuel my metabolism and my body, not slow it down.
7. Avoid fibrous food.
• I keep my fill level at a point where I can eat some fibrous foods... that doesn't mean that occasionally a piece of broccoli doesn't get stuck (again, because I don't chew each bite 1,678,945 times)! However, things like potatoes mostly do NOT work with my band (Fries? FORGET IT!), even after being chewed 30 times, this stuff is still too thick and it doesn't want to move through. I rarely eat it. Pick your battles, know your band and your body!
8. Drink enough fluids during the day.
• Drink water! I drink anywhere between 8-12 cups per day, and that's pre-workout. I can drink 5-6 cups while exercising. I can't get enough! Don't slip back into drinking sodas or having Starbucks every damn day. Fuel your body with things it's made up of: WATER!
9. Drink only low-calorie liquids.
• This comes back to #8. Drink water!
10. Exercise at least 30 minutes per day.
• That's 210 minutes per week. There are 10,000+ minutes every 7 days, 210 is only 2% of your allotment of minutes! Make YOURSELF a priority. Take the kids to the gym play room, leave them with a friend, take the dog for a walk... walk in place in your living room, if you have to. Just do SOMETHING.

Are you doing 10/10 of these? Because I'm doing 9/10, and I'm rocking it. I was 273 lbs almost 4 years ago, and today I weighed in at 158.1. I'm going to be 145 lbs, and I'm going to be successful in maintaining it. Believe that. Because I give myself my own accountability, I don't rely on outside forces to keep myself motivated.

I was talking to Lori today, and she told me she had been scared she was giving up. But she's back on the horse. (LITERALLY!)

I told her she wasn't allowed to be a statistic. I've heard too many damn advertisements on TV and the radio lately, "Did you get the lapband, but not have the results you were promised? Come see Dr. [Whoever], an experienced bariatric doctor who performs revision surgery!"

I'm not going to be a statistic, because I work every damn day. And she won't be either!

What are you going to do to make sure you're successful? That you stick with it? That you win this fight with obesity?

Still Running

I'm still chugging along with the Couch-to-5K. Just completed Week 3, Day 1.

Also, did an additional 34 minutes in the gym at my apartment complex. Stationary bike, elliptical... pure cardio. I was DRIPPING sweat at the end of that 60 minutes.

That's something new I'm doing: working out at the gym. I was running outside, and it was nice. However, I wasn't getting the burn I wanted or needed, because I didn't know my real pace. I was using RunKeeper so I knew I was hitting about 15:00 minute/mile pace, but I wanted a STEADY pace that I could control more easily. And 15:00 minute mile? Not impressive. I want more for myself.

Hence the dreadmill. We've made peace, though, I think. I've done my C25K on it twice now, and it was nice to me today. I can't wait for Week 4, Day 1. I hear that's when most people fall off the wagon. It isn't going to happen to me!

I'm making fitness a lifestyle now, it's finally clicking after I'm 3.5 years into my weight loss journey.

Oh, and I saw a nice weight this morning: 163.8. That's 16.2 pounds down since I started Weight Watchers in February. Pretty nice for me, considering I really JUST started taking it seriously about 2 months ago.

Be well, my friends!

Body Shots

My new goal weight of 145 pounds. I stated it here earlier, and I told my accountability group about it last week... and it was met with some hesitation.

I was told 145 might be too thin. And was asked WHY I want to be that particular weight?

And I wonder what people think I really look like underneath my clothes? (Or why anyone cares what my ultimate goal weight is anyway?)

Does someone mistakenly think I'm some thin goddess under there, even though they can see bulges with my clothes on?

So I'm here to share what I really look like, because I told Lorie I would. I'm sure I haven't done this recently (at least, not since I started THIS blog)... so here goes nothing.

It's not horrible, but there's work to be done.

And I'm ready to do it!

Wanna Be A Runner

I've been talking about fitness for a few weeks, or months, or years (if you count how long I've been saying I want to be active). But one thing I haven't been talking about is the fact that I've always wanted to be a runner. I don't think I ever mentioned it. In fact, I probably have always said, "I hate running. I'll never be a runner."

Defeatist Attitude? Ain't nobody got time for that. I'm all about the Positive Mental Attitude these days.

Long story short: yesterday I started Couch-to-5K!

I did Week 1, Day 1 at noon. In Texas. It was only 90 degrees. I barely broke a sweat. (Lie.)

I'm breaking down barriers, ladies. I'm done with the "I-wanna's" and I'm focusing on the "I'm-gonna's."

I'm gonna be a runner (or at least I'm gonna finish C25K and go from there).
I'm gonna continue with T25 and be an athlete.
I'm gonna get to 145 lbs.

That's my new goal weight, if I forgot to mention it in my last blog post. I'm done with the excuses.

I'm gonna go meal prep for the week now. Just went shopping this morning and I'm feeling like it's a great time.

BandedWendy and Fitness

I've been absent again, only for two weeks or so, I think. But it's been good away. I've been focusing on eating well and exercising.

Most specifically: when I'm not working out (or simply: working!), I'm watching YouTube videos. I love BandedWendy - I've become obsessed! I started her journey over with her from the very beginning, and she JUST reached maintenance. That's probably 100 videos I've watched.

From now on when I go to bed at night and grab my laptop (horrible habit, but I don't care!), Steve says, "Good night, babe. Have fun watching BandedWendy."

She's just REAL. She knows what she's about, she knows what the lapband is about. She knows the rules, and she's not scared to say, "Hey, if you're not following the rules - that's why you're not losing weight." And I SO believe that.

You have to seriously be ready to change your life.

Today and yesterday, in fact, I bitched out on my fitness. Yesterday was supposed to be a two-a-day, but I completely laid down and enjoyed my bed last night. Then tonight I started one of my T25 videos (Total Body Circuit, to be exact; if you're familiar with the program I'm doing the Gamma Hybrid cycle, which incorporates videos from the Alpha and/or Beta cycles once or twice a week), and I got about 2/3 of the way through it then sat down and turned it off. I made that choice. I'm owning it.

I hadn't had enough to eat today, and I don't feel strong. So I will do it tomorrow. I worked 45 hours this week, which is only an extra hour per day... but when you have been closing as often as I have (three days in a row and then a turn-around today), it gets pretty grueling.

I don't go in tomorrow until 11:00 am, so I have time to do finish the first and start up and finish the second video before I leave for work. And I already have my lunch made.

I'm a planner, what can I say?

Fitness IS a part of my lifestyle.